


errands

by drwhoever



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 01:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14989478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drwhoever/pseuds/drwhoever
Summary: running errands with my mom





	errands

**Author's Note:**

> runnin runnin runnin runnin

lance was already outside waiting to be picked up when the final bell rang, signifying that school was out for the day; god bless coran and his laid-back teaching methods. lance's best buddies, hunk and pidge, were by his side seconds only a few seconds before the rest of the student body began to poor out of their respective classes. 

"hey lance!" hunk greeted enthusiastically, throwing his arm around lance's shoulder in a typical bro way. "you wanna come over to my house? play some video games? prank call some girls—and i guess keith, in your case—?" 

lance shook his head. "sorry cutties, i'm busy," he said. 

pidge looked at lance skeptically because, let's be real, when was lance ever busy? "why dude? what are you doing?" she asked, sounding as skeptical as the look she gave lance. 

"what am i doing?" lance challenged, "i'm—" 

lance was interrupted by his mom, who was calling out: "¡hola, lance! ¿cómo fuiste tu día?"

lance looked at pidge with a smug expression before suddenly breaking into song. "i'm running errands with my mom!" camera men appear out of nowhere as background music fills the air. lance murmurs, "runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'!"  
he repeats the phrase two more times, pidge and hunk are nodding along to the developing bop while lance dances in front of one of the cameras. 

"with who?" lance asks into the camera, slipping on a pair of glasses. "my mom!" he then answers, while his mom makes a weird face and also nods along to the bop. once again, he repeats himself... but only once this time. 

he gets into the car, and the music stops so that lance can answer his mom's question," "my day was pretty lit, mom." and even though lance's mom would like for him to explain what lit means, the music resumes. 

"i roll up to the car while i'm rapping to the beat," lance then raps with his epic rap skills. man, he should be featured in despacito 2. "i'm so hardcore," he continues, "that i take the front seat. i ride shotgun like a nice young man." 

as he raps, his mom pulls up to a curb wherein a couple of girls and lance's long time suppressed crush, keith, are chilling. "yo, what up ladies?" lance calls to them.

they stare in shock as lance's car passes with him watching them, asking in unison: "is that a minivan?" then keith faints and lance feels proud. 

lance continues his rap, looking into the camera that somehow fits in his car like one of those cool soundcloud rappers making their first music video. "windows rolled up, lotsa gas in the tank," he says to the beat. "where we goin' first mom?"

lance's mom looks at lance and then into the camera that panned to her. "we're stopping by the bank!" she replies. 

once they get to the bank, lance keeps going. "at the atm, transaction was sweet!" lance's mom is ready to get back in the car, but lance notices she forgot something and since he's a respectable young man who loves his mother he reminded her. "mom before you go, don't forget your reciept!" he grabs it for her and they're back in the car. 

"we back in the van," lance raps as he looks down at the camera. how does he not look bad from this angle? oh right, because he's lancey lance. he opens the skylight at the same time he says, "open up the skylight!"

"next stop is the salon!" lance's mom tells him excitedly. 

lance looks incredulously into the camera. "haircut?" he asks with worry, but while still rapping to the beat. 

"no," lance's mom assures him. "just highlights!" lance is no longer worried. 

as lance's mom parks, lance raps, "mom parks the car and she takes her time!" the cameras somehow pan out to the car which is slowly going back and forth until it's well between the lines. "cause she's mad conscientious and stays between the lines!" lance's mom is surprised he knows big words. 

lance repeats the chorus of his song, saying: "runnin' errands with my mom! runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'," and repeating that over three more times. then he says: "with who? my mom!" twice. like, we get it dude. you're running errands with your mom instead of having a social life. 

lance sits in the waiting room while his mom gets her fake highlights. "at the salon," he raps and the lady sitting next to him pays him no mind to the fire bars he's spitting while she reads a tabloid about spooky alien things capturing three dudes and taking them to their alien empire. either she's really enjoying the magazine or this is common occurrence. yikes. 

suddenly lance is next to his mom, who looks like the typical white suburban soccer mom getting her hair done, even though lance's mom is cuban. "with my gangsta lean," he continues. "getting all the gossip from lady magazine!" he holds up a playgirl magazine and wonders if he'd be able to sneak it home and tape keith's face to all the hot man bodies. 

he's back in the waiting room. "you know that i'm the king," never mind, he's with his mom again for some reason, "i spit a ill verse!" ew, nice grammar, lance. no wonder you failed literature last semester. 

he's in the waiting room again, telling the woman sitting next to him: "yo, you made trippin' allura!" and she looks at him. lance angrily raps, "your shoes don't match your purse!" he gets up, kicks over his chair, and walks away. the woman has to restrain herself from getting up and choking the fuck out of lance's gay fashionista ass. 

lance's mom shakes her head. lance just got kicked out of the salon for 'incompetent behavior' whatever that means. 

once lance's mom is finished yelling at her stupid son and hitting him with her sandal, they're back on the road and lance is holding back tears. "r-rolling down the street, next errand of the day," he raps, trying to keep up his cool guy image despite the throbbing pain he feels in his forehead. 

lance looks into the camera again, "time to pick up lil sis," and then his mom chimes in. "'cause she's finished with ballet!" 

the camera somehow pans to lance's sister at ballet, who's approaching the camera with two other ballerinas as if she's in a gang or some shit. "little sis is in the house!" she raps, way better than lance because she's a girl and we need feminism. since she's a skrillex stan she's able to say "ti-ti-time get amazed," she says as she dances. isn't she in ballet? why is she trying to dance like a korean pop star?? koreaboos. ugh. 

now she's shading lance. "my bro's got rhymes for minutes, but i've got rhymes for days!" she's pretty annoying. "see the brothers count racks, but you know what's up!" she looks around, as if she's gonna find what she's looking for in a tiny dance studio. "where all my little sisters at? thr-thro-throw them hands up!" 

lance is back on his bullshit. the car is parked and the entire family and lance's sister's ballet gang posse all stand outside of the car trying to dance. "runnin' errands is so tight," lance says. "cause my mom is cool as ice." lance's mom makes it seem like she didn't threaten lance into saying that as she dances in front of the conveniently placed camera. lance asks, "where to next mom?" 

his mom excitedly says, "home!" 

lance and his sister say, "nice!"

they're still dancing in front of the car and their mom is doing the worm when all of a sudden lance and his sister start chanting, "cook mom," and "whatchu cookin?" as if she can cook in front of a dance studio. lance's mom loves the attention, though. 

lance says, "we out, now throw some coupons at the camera mom!" but lance's mom has had enough of the disrespect and throws her fist at lance instead. the end.

**Author's Note:**

> with who? 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> my mom
> 
>  
> 
> n e way hope u all enjoyed! uwu pls follow my instagram @orrangehead or @cloutjins whichever is more ur vibe and ill make sure to alert u all whenever i write more quality fics, thank u


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